peel me like a grape

http://www.dianakrall.com/ (watch the boy from Ipanema)
i've officially become a Diana Krall fan! She had me at "the boy from Ipanema." We all have the one person who we fall shamelessly for and don't have a clue why. Okay we do, but it makes no sense.The one person we would gladly let peel us like a grape. When you put your heart on the line and say "this is me take me as i am" you sort of cross your fingers and hope they will. Love is a dangerous game, as Michael Buble says... life on reflection is all about love. We're either in love, dreaming about love, recovering from it, wishing for it or reflecting on it.
On that note i'm sorry to the guy who i clung onto as if for dear life, that can't have felt too cool.
I'm sorry to the guy who came into my life when i was in a bad space, i didn't have to be so heartless.
I'm sorry to the guy who loved me and i could never for the life of me understand why.
I'm sorry to the guy whose house i turned up at drunk out of my skull and caused a scene... (cringe)

My name is shukie
(Hie Shukie...chorus)
I'm not perfect, i have bad days. I shout, i act irrationally sometimes. Though i wish you'd peel me like a grape!

my favourite things in the whole wide world...YAY!!

its 28 degrees in jozi and from the window at work, i can see the cyclists taking part in this years Momentum 94.7 challenge. Everyone here is hung over from last nights book launch... but being the die hard fun people we are, we just popped open a bottle of white wine (to ease into the day,you understand!)I've been on this whole 'welcoming the festive season tip',everyone around me thinks i'm taking something. I'm simply high on life. I decided since my plans to go home for a while didn't work out... i'm throwing a 'what u still doin in Jozi' party when my flatmate and her brood leave for the Eastern Cape. An old skool party, no Chris Brown or the dreadlocked one with the tatoo's on his face then! A chill session, good company and good music. That's one of my favourite things in the whole wide world, listening to good music wit gud company. Mmm... favourite things, today seems like the perfect day to ramble on about them.(Outside the ladies look gorgeous, its the perfect day to go to the park)
So here they is (thanks Timberland for making it cool to butcher the language) In no order at all of course..

1. Rolling over to the cool side of the bed and feeling a light breeze on my skin.
2. The perfect cup of coffee.
3.Canary Wharf in East London,UK. Its beauty is simply soul inspired.
4.Sunset on the couches at Moyo's in Durban with a blanket and watching the Indian Ocean.
5. Dancing to jazz at Katy's jazz club in Rosebank.
6.Walking down Bond Street in Central London
7.The smell in the air before it rains
8.A sunset cruise on the Zambezi (add sundowners..YAY!)
9.Heels fresh out of the box
10.Hanging out in Newtown with the culturally rich people who are inspiring and fun.
11. Switching off my phone and disappearing off the surface of the earth for a while.
12. Club hopping in Leeds
13.Staying at home with a few good books in my pyjamas
14. Waking up at my grandmothers farm in Choma, Zambia and contemplating in those first few seconds where that life ends and my other one begins.
15.Singing, however terribly, in the street.
16. Buying a new CD (even in the wonderful age of itunes)
17. Snow on the ground
18. BEING SHUKIE

missing things i never had...

most days now,
I find myself longing,
Yearning for things i must have had,
then lost,
only i know, deep inside,
I never actually acquired them,
I miss you always,
though you were never mine,
I miss our children,
Although we never actually had any,
I miss our quaint home,
With its paintings and view of the sea,

I miss waking up next to you,
Although i have no idea what that should be like,
I miss listening to jazz with you,
while you cook horrid pasta
which i pretend is the best thing ever,
while laughing at your moderately funny jokes,

I miss our walks on the beach at dask,
Our celebrating our birthdays with chilled champaign & strawberries
Travelling to distant places on our anniversaries,
where noone knows our names,
I miss watching reruns on tv with you
While you make me watch all your favourite programmes,
I miss taking long showers with you,
Soaking in a tub filled with rose petals,

I miss painting with you,
Plastering a bright yellow smile on your face with my brush,
And watch you turn into a kid again,
I miss our talks at the fire,
Over mugs of hot chocolate with mashmallows,
I miss being overly deep,
Deep for no reason,

I miss seeing how cute you look when you're mad,
Watching you nose wrinkle up in frustration,
Before you smile your ridiculously yummy smile,
Refreshing like a burst of fresh air,

Many nights with you on my mind,
i miss you,
Though of course, i don't know who you are...

2010 World Cup... how we love to harpeth on it so!

World Cup 2010... that's like talking about the weather when you have nothing else to say to someone. Everyone has an opinion on it. I've been living in SA for about 3 yrs now and even in the earlier days got the feeling that this thing wud get larger than life. I was right! Some predicted it would all come crushing down for SA politically after the World Cup. Others predicted it would just be the beginning (And we all sort of knew SA wud have a rapist as president by now!) Most predicted millions would be swindled out of civilians in the name of govt tenders, the so called stadiums needed, the Ria Via buses (gag!) and the Gautrain (uhh!!) Anyway less than a year to go and we are all waiting and watching i suppose.

I vowed i'd take my first born son to one of the games, while another friend vowed she'd open a catering business in time for the food rush! Another friend said he'd become a pimp and run Jozi's sleaziest brothel! Wishful thinking i suppose on all our parts. I still don't have any children (nor plan to in the foreseable future) My one friend got over the catering thing...her recent craze... handbag retail (u shud hear her trying to get me to buy blatantly fake Guess!) and my other friend is discouraged at the number of thriving brothels there are (we're talking Mexican chicks! lol) I will say though that the prospect of 2010 has had some positive impact in jhb, more so in the CBD. In Newtown all the paths have been paved with brick, in the dodgy street i live in, the council has gone through the painstaking task (one they should have embarked on in 94'really) of installing street lamps and collecting the rubbish at least twice a week. The CBD is looking better than it has in years, almost like ur friends mom who goes on a diet or whatever and morphes into this sexy dish that's sizzlin. I like!

A lot of my collegues and friends already have tickets to some of the games, apparently most of them are sold out already! That's a positive thing i think. It means while evryone else is at the World Cup i'll be at home catching up on all the movies i've missed or painting my toe nails green. I'm sure i'll end up at a game or two none the less. While everyone is doing the whole 'ayobaness' thing, i'll be doing it with them. Screaming my lungs out and just harping on about being a part of the world cup!

wonderful world

It's the manuscript, the main reason i started reading on West Africa, more so Nigeria. I wanted to write a story that was acurate, though i will admit it's hard to write on something one initially has no clue about. How could i write a story on the Biafran or Ogoniland issue when a few months ago it was foreign to me? Sure the soothing jazz vocals of Ella Fitzgerald in the background as i research on something that's new and exciting makes me feel like Jackie Collins should on a good day, though learning a mindful about anything is still hectic.I wanted to learn however, thus begun my quest to know more. Over the past few months i've read enough West African novels and reports to last a lifetime and my friends think i've lost it. When i do say i'm going to Cameroon, they roll they eyes and think i'm barmy. When i meet with Kwame (my friend from Benin) to watch him ccok up a West African storm (an aquired taste, i believe)the same friends think i'm selling out... I just smile and take in everything i can. (great friends i have don't you think!)
It's just as a southern African i've always had preconceived ideas about our West African brothers and sisters. Previously once anyone opened their mouth and the signature accent flowed out, i'd instantly switch off. I'm not proud of the admission though it goes to show how honestly closed minded i was.
On the other hand, i've just discovered all the 'Indian' looking people who live in Forsdburg ain't all Muslim nor from India. I recently became friends with a guy from Jordon and discovered the only thing he has in common with al the other 'Indian' looking people around him is the fact he speaks Arabic. He actually doesn't celebrate divali nor does he chew on the red chewy stuff though he does do juma. Amazing how we usually judge people based on the stereotypes we claim we don't habour in our minds. Meanwhile i've been reading a lot of Chris Abani and listening to Ghananian music... it is a wonderful world out there, if you give it a chance!

life's uncanny way of going on

Well the hype of district 9 has been and gone. The actors got fat pay cheques and are apparently now A list property... For those of us who thought the whole thing was cringe worthy and gagged throughout the movie the question is 'what was the fuss about?' The Nigerian Minister of something has banned the film from Nigeria because it portrays i qoute "Nigerians as cannibals and knee deep into voodoo."
I'm thinking, with all due respect whats new? I mean after watching a few unsettling Nigerian films i'm surprised there's an uproar. If "Billionaires Club" was anything to go by, a few scenes with a Nigerian drug Lord scoffing down human flesh for power, seems on point. I'm sad it's not really a portrayal of Nigerians as a people, though when was life ever fair. I'm half Zimbabwean and have had to justify the fact that i was brought up on that soil every day of my life.I have to answer weird questions like why we haven't hung Mugabe already!!
Meanwhile my publisher is certain my novel will be published in April 2010,YAY!! It's been a bloody long time comming. So i've been hitting the town in my heels and dancing like its the turn of the new millenium. And why not? I work too hard, the least i can do is play hard! i'm single and don't i want everyone to know it!!!

For the first time in months i can sit in a quaint Italian restuarant and enjoy a glass of red wine by myself while going over some far from flattering reviews of my novel and decide what Shukie is going to do with this life. I recently bumped into a fairly 'young' flame in a club and despite the semi hurt i felt at our particularly abrupt end, didn't have the energy i thought i'd have to pretend i'm over everything. Okay so i didn't burst into tears or anything (that was another occassion, another story!! )

Anyway so for now it's back to blissful reading in bed all day on a Sunday and serial dating on the whim, and drinking boxed wine right out of the box....

Life has an uncanny way of going on...

Meanwhile after my ulcer diagnosis (the same one i've told EVERYONE about!)I've started drinking more water and faithfully trying the whole five a day thing.Going well i think,despite the sight of my poo that has a penchant with floating gayly in the chamber (It always sunk to the bottom before)
Life is, in essence, is going on.
Most days i float, some days i just want to disappear.

for the 'fineness' that is man

My jaw drops,
I do a double take of him,
Then ram, nose first, into the wall,
You see he has me thinking things,
Thoughts of sinning,
Making me ready to outstreach my hand,
Beam my most seductive,and say,

"Hie i'm Shukie, don't mean to be forward, i'm really digging the shirt, though you probably look better without it on... opps did i just say that out aloud?"

Then I laugh like a vamp drunk off cheap wine,
Let his name roll off my lips,
Like i was born to say it,
Saying it musically, writing the first song in our book,
Then singing it to him every day of our lives,

He looks at me, up then down,
Slowly taking in my 34B breasts,
Arranged provacatively in my push up wonder bra,
Now they don't say wonder for nothing hey...
He takes in the texture of my skin,
Peeling me like a grape,

I'm thinking maybe...
We can make a baby,
Maybe we can be the next used to be,
I stick my tongue in his mouth,
Watch amazed as he gasps once we break for air,
He's blushing..
I didn't have him down as a shy type..
Then again,
i guess he didn't think i'd jump him 5 seconds after meeting him,

This one is the fineness that is man,
The way them fine brothers speak,
The way they walk, the clothes they wear,
This is for all the eyecandy out there,

Oh so fine!